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Why Should You Justify Your Reasons for Homeschooling?

Hip Homeschool Moms Why Graphic We knew that we would homeschool long before we had children. It was a decision that we made together and we have never wavered from that choice for our family. Over the years we have had a lot of people question why we do it, with all the tired old comments like, “How will they be socialized?” – “Are you really qualified to do that?” – “Are you sure that’s legal?” and so on. The most extreme thing ever said to me was by a public school teacher, who said she thought it was abusive and “criminal” to homeschool children. But ultimately I don’t worry too much about those people because they don’t really know about homeschooling and why people homeschool. They have a preconceived notion that it’s bad or weird because it’s not sending your kids off to a “professional” educator five days a week. Sending your kids off to school is just “what you do,” so anything else seems bizarre. If people are kind and have a genuine question, I am more than happy to talk about homeschooling because I love it! But I tend to blow off the people who say ridiculous stuff and go about my business. And more importantly I steer my small children out of their rapid-fire questioning of why they aren’t in school today.

Far too often though, I see fellow homeschoolers get defensive about their choice. But remember, you don’t have to justify that choice to anyone. There isn’t a single family member, friend or acquaintance who is justified in pressuring you about homeschooling. I know it’s hard to remember, especially if it is coming from family,  because family-members often know how to push your buttons. You can also worry too much about what your friends might think of you. In the end, you have to remember that it’s no one else’s business and your children have to come first, not the opinions of others.

The flip side of this coin is that you also shouldn’t berate or demean your friends, family, or others who choose to put their children in public or private school (or homeschool differently than you do). That is their business and their family and no matter how wonderful or superior you believe your method of educating your children, you should neither expect nor require them to justify their decision to you.

As more time goes by, with the ever-increasing popularity of social media and internet communication, you can expect that people will say some horrible things to you. Things that they would never say to you in person. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the horrible things said on this topic (and many others) by both sides. Be at peace with your decision and answer the questions of those genuinely interested in learning about homeschooling, but don’t present yourself as the authority for every family or the arbiter of what is best. Remember, you don’t have to justify your decision to others, and they don’t have to justify their decision to you.

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5 Comments

  1. Thanks for the kind reminder. We recently moved and where we are now is not NEARLY as homeschooler friendly as where we lived previously. I have had to deal with this a LOT more lately and I admit it has been challenging!

  2. I needed this! I have been trying to explain myself to others about my decision a lot these past few weeks because I have decided to take my children out of public school and start homeschooling this fall. I’ve had so many awkward conversations with parents of their friends when they ask “are you ready for school to start this fall?” And I reply, “Well….actually….we are homeschooling this fall…..” Then I’m sure you can guess how the rest of these conversations go. And even though the parents I’ve talked to “ACT” supportive, I can sense the big-time judgement!

  3. Yes, we are asked this question frequently. For the ones who really wish to sincerely know, I love the opportunity to explain. For those who belittle home schooling and presume that I sit around the house reading magazines all day while my kids play in the backyard, and then ask the question, I say(as kind as possible), “We don’t need public education to teach our kids to swear a be a bully; they can learn that at home.” That shuts them up every time. Home educating isn’t for everyone, but I’m certainly not going to put up with their rudeness simply because they feel intimidated. I’m going to point it out.

  4. I’m an old homeschool “veteran.” lol We started homeschooling in the 1980s and people asked the same questions then as they do now. I think it’s a good idea for each homeschool family to take some time to write out their philosophy of education (why you take the stands that you do, why you feel homeschooling is best for your children, why you think you’re qualified to do this, etc).

    Writing out your philosophy of education will help ground you and your spouse, and will help you speak with wisdom, authority and grace when confronted with those people who just know what’s best for your children.

  5. I totally agree with this. My husband and I have home schooled our kids for there whole lives. Recently I have seen that they have made great strides toward 21st century learning. I feel that these technologies could be great for kids who are home schooled. The adaptability and affordability of it is truly staggering.

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