Acting Pretty When It Gets Ugly

What kind of curriculum should I buy? How do I know if they’re learning? What kind of schedule should we use? How will they make friends?

The list could go on and on. But I think the one question that I think many homeschooling moms are afraid to ask and probably want to the very most is:

What do I do when I feel like I am going to lose it?

We’ve all been there. The baby is crying and the kids won’t sit still. Or no matter how hard you try, the idea of division just won’t soak into your son’s brain. Or while you’re finally getting him to understand division, someone else is staying busy by painting the couch in the other room.

You guys, believe me when I say I am an expert on situations like these. How I’ve dealt with them though? Well, that hasn’t always been my strong suit. But I’m getting better! And I want to share a few of the ways I cope when I feel like I just can’t anymore.

Just quit… for a bit. Who really cares if that science project gets finished or that phonics worksheet is completed? Well, maybe you do. But you can always do them tomorrow! If you really feel like you’re going to blow your lid, give up and call an emergency vacation day.

Walk away. Far away. A change of scenery and a little bit of exercise can drastically change a bad attitude. Go for a walk around the block, a hike on a nearby trail or strap on your helmets and get going on your bikes. Don’t head back home until everyone is in a happy mood.

Time for a Peace Treaty! No, you don’t need to draft any documents or sign anything official looking. I mean get yourself a treat to keep the peace. Around my house a peace treaty is a quick trip to Starbucks for a caramel latte for me and cake pops for the kids. Some other fun ideas are popsicles on the porch or a surprise ice cream sundae bar instead of lunch.

Let them know. There is no shame in letting your kids know that you’re having a really rough day. You won’t be any less of a super-mom in their eyes if you’re struggling a bit. My kids have heard me say, “I really need to work on my patience today” quite a few times.

Call in reinforcements. When all else fails and you feel at your wit’s end, it might be time to call Daddy home from work or your neighbor or a fellow homeschooling mom and just ask them to fill in for you for a few minutes.

We can feel things getting ugly and we’re a few seconds away from having an episode the kids will likely bring up in fits of laughter at Christmas in 15 years. “Remember when Mom threw my spelling book at the television, yelled at the hamster and then locked herself in the bathroom with all of the Easter candy until Dad got home?”

Yeah, nobody wants to have memories like that!


Sarah is a homeschooling mom of 5, ages 3 months to 8 years. She tries to take life one day at a time, even when several days attack her at once. You can find out more about her (and how she really, really, really tries not to lose her mind) at Ordinary Days.

Similar Posts

20 Comments

  1. You pretty much described the type of day I had. PMS and homeschooling doesn’t go well together either I might add. Thankfully my husband was here to step in. How funny…he bought me a cinnamon dolce from starbucks and a cake pop for ME. Gotta love a good back up person. AKA hubby!

  2. Sarah,
    LOVE this post. We have 4 boys, ages 2, 4, 6 and 8. You pretty much described most of my days. There is always someone dismantling something, breaking something, fighting with someone or creating colossal messes while I am trying to get school work done with one of the kids. And it’s always in another part of the house so I’m always feeling pulled in a million different directions. And don’t get me started about when my 2 year old gets woken up from his nap by noisy brothers, which often happens. ::breathe:: I love your fun suggestions for what to do when your day is going out of control and you don’t want to lose it. We often just STOP and get out of the house. Like you said, there’s always tomorrow. Thanks for your authenticity! Just followed you on your blog too. -Megan

    1. Megan, you had replied to one of my posts a couple of days ago. We both have 4 boys, ages 2, 4, 6 & 8. You said you’re 2 year old gets woken up by his brothers… have you ever tried Homedics Sound Spa? I put one in each of the 3 bedrooms the boys use and turn it on “Rain”. I do daycare for 3 other younger children and they all take 3 hour naps! They can’t hear A THING but the “rain”. And I was worried about them becoming addicted to it, but when we go to my parents and forget our sound machines or when we go camping without the sound machines, my boys sleep just fine. Just a suggestion. I’m slowly becoming more and more efficient over the years… =) I have all sorts of tricks up my sleeve.

      1. Rachel,
        Yes, I remember replying to you a few days ago. 🙂 I don’t know why I haven’t thought of using a sound machine…GREAT IDEA! I think I’ll go look for the one you mentioned on Amazon right now. It would be so nice to not worry so much about tip toeing around our little home during nap time. Thanks so much!! Yes, slowly, I too am learning how to be more efficient. But, there has definitely been a lot of trial and error. I’m always so thank for when I find some way to save time or make things run more smoothly.

  3. “Remember when Mom threw my spelling book at the television, yelled at the hamster and then locked herself in the bathroom with all of the Easter candy until Dad got home?”
    Wa ha ha ha…sob.
    It’s both hilarious and too close to home 🙂
    Enjoyed the post!

  4. Joy, your husband sounds like a real keeper! A drink AND a cake pop? Lucky girl!

    Megan, so glad I’m not the only one who feels pulled in a million directions! And thanks for following my blog. 🙂

    Becky, thanks! I bet you’ve got a few fun stories for future Christmases, huh? 😉

  5. Thank you Sarah for this post! It helps to know we’re not alone! I found it so encouraging that I shared it on my blog! Thanks again!

  6. Great post. And I laughed out loud at the last paragraph. I am a big believer in the “take a break” theory.

  7. Ohhh, I just had to say thanks for this. Today was “one of those days” for us. And, yeah, I wrote about it. And I needed to read your thoughts. I’m working on learning “when to quit,” and you’re helping 🙂

  8. I LOVE your post. Sometimes it is just nice to know that other people out there totally know what you are going through. I know I need constant reminders that things don’t have to be perfect all the time. Often I come across homeschool blogs and their lives seem to be pure utopia. It makes me feel bad and wonder what is wrong with me. So thanks for the honest truth!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *