3 Things Every Homeschooling Mom Needs to Remember About Homemaking

Maybe it’s the rainy, spring weather (and corresponding mud tracking in on my floors).

Maybe it’s the compilation of clutter after being cooped up in the house all winter.

Maybe it’s because my kids have been on a lazy streak.

Or, quite possibly, maybe I’m just trying too hard and it’s all caving in on me.

I have no idea why, but the ugly truth remains-

I cannot keep my house clean these days.

Notice I said I cannot keep my house clean.  I am cleaning my house.  All the time, it seems!  But keeping it clean is quite a different story.

3 Things Every Homeschooling Mom Needs to Remember About Homemaking

After frustration, tears, and a melt down this week (ahem!), I came to a few conclusions about homeschooling and homemaking.  You can call these survival techniques, brain washing, or whatever else you want to call them…

But here are three things I believe every homeschooling mom needs to remember about homemaking-

Relationships Are First

Obviously this one has to go first since it’s “first,” right?  Too often, this one gets booted down to last place in our list of priorities (at least, that happens in my house sometimes).

I’m not suggesting that our children get to live like pigs while Mom does all the work, just to keep little Junior and Sally happy and feeling “loved.” But, truly, what is more important in a home than the hearts of the people who live there?

And, just to bring that down to earth a little: what is more important in a messy bedroom other than the little people who live there?  (I have to remind myself of this one a lot!)

In our quests to be Super Woman great homemakers, sometimes it’s really easy to forget the whole point, and that’s loving well, not just living well.

Simplify, Please!

Bless my heart, I used to think that the harder and longer I had to work at something (a meal, a project, or whatever), the better it proved what a great homemaker I was.

Bahahahaha!

After five kids and seven years of homeschooling, I’ve sort of gotten over that bunch of bologna.

Most week days, we eat on paper plates, dine on left-overs, sandwiches, or other quick meals, and feel like we’ve done heroics if the dishes are washed and the living room is presentable at the end of the day.

Life is already complicated enough, so don’t make it harder by burdening yourself with ridiculous expectations. 

Maybe your sister is a gourmet cook.  Maybe your friend sews, or crafts, or builds rocket ships for science projects.  Hurrah for them!  I eat sandwiches on paper plates and let my kids stand up and wiggle while they work through a math page.  Hurrah for us!

Simplify, my dear, simplify.

Perfection is a Mirage

That means it doesn’t exist.

Doesn’t.

Exist.

Not in the real world, anyway, and especially not in my world as a homeschooling mom.

Two of the biggest lies I have ever believed:

(1) If I can just do the right things in the right way, my life and home will be perfect and stay perfect.

(2) When I finally reach perfection, I will be happy.

Not true.

I have yet to find a pathway to perfection, or anyone else who has found it.

Furthermore, I have found that I can be happy right where I’m at on any old day of the week, and that includes the days when I’m up to my elbows in clutter, crumbs, and what feels like chaos.

Am I giving permission to homeschooling moms to be sloppy homemakers and passive Pollys about structure, routine, and cleanliness?

No ma’am, I’m surely not.

But I am giving you permission to enjoy your imperfect day, and the people you are sharing it with.

And I am readily confessing that my life as a homeschooling mom means that I deal with a lot of messes, and I’ve learned that going to bed with a sticky kitchen floor isn’t the end of the world.

Going to bed with a child whose heart is closed toward me, or a husband who just got chewed out because he dropped his dirty laundry on the bathroom floor… now that is something I should be worried about.

But messy floors?  No.

I can clean the floors tomorrow and, yes, they will get messy again.  But I can never undervalue the worth of the relationships I am building and the character I am training into the hearts of my children. 

Those eternal things can happen in the midst of a less-then-perfect-home. 

And those eternal things can also be overlooked or undermined in my relentless pursuit of perfection.

Ultimately, I am a steward of my home.  That simply means that taking care of my home is my privilege, my responsibility, and my act of worship to God.  Home is where I serve my family, train my children, and welcome my friends.

This place called home, this imperfect, crazy place, is where I can love big, forgive deep, and live out beautiful, grace-filled Christianity every single overwhelming day of the week.

Lord, help me never forget that!

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21 Comments

  1. Amen sister! This was so timely for me to read!!
    Thank you & God continue to bless you with His perfect peace!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this! I started home schooling a few weeks ago and at the point where it’s just not coming together and getting discouraged. Thinking I can’t do it all, this really helped me!

    1. Tamer, I can’t do it all. Even after seven years of homeschooling, there are a lot of days when I still feel overwhelmed and have to step back and either take a break, or at least re-prioritize.

      Keep up the good work, and keep first things first! You are doing a great job, mama.

  3. Great words! I am a homeschooling grandmother of 2 girls with a teen aged niece living with me who is in PS. I have to run so much with the niece and my sister that I am failing my grandbabies as well as my hubby and home! Things are getting better but still rough. Thanks for putting things in perspective.

  4. This is an excellent article. Very balanced and I’m so glad that you emphasized the fact that you continue to clean everyday. I see so many women throwing the cleaning out completely and they aren’t realizing how important it is for the health of their families and their own spiritual health. Blessings! Karen

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Karen! Oh no, I could never throw out cleaning! I’m quite a perfectionist, which is why it’s so hard for me to find a balance that fits in grace, nurturing relationships, and sometimes just cutting myself some slack.

      I’m glad you found the article encouraging and balanced. 🙂

  5. Ha Ha! This is great! I am glad I am not the only one tired of cleaning! I just wrote a similar post to vent my frustrations and remind myself about what really is important! Thanks for being transparency and encouragement!!

  6. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You must have been listening to my internal dialogue and that one really mean voice telling me what a jerk I am for not being able to keep my house clean during this season (new baby, 3 year old and homeschooling first grader!). Can you imagine that my house is messy?! Doing my best but I need the reminder to focus on LOVE.

    1. Yes, I can imagine! 😉 It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves, isn’t it?

      Give yourself some grace… and enjoy those babies. My “baby” just turned two yesterday… makes me wonder where the time goes, you know?

      Blessings, Elizabeth!

  7. Kristy, well said.

    I was going to write a blog post on this exact thing this week and post on my website. Ha! Here you’ve done it. I will share your post.
    Excellent and I share the same sentiments! 🙂

    Thank you!

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