Testing
I am in the midst of my annual fight with myself. The first opponent, is the committed homeschooling mother, who is absolutely passionate and sure that this the right thing for her first grader and K4 kiddo. This mom is dedicated and confident. She is confident in her passion, if not her abilities. She is determined to make this work, because she feels it is absolutely the best thing for her boys.
Then there is the other opponent, and that one is not so confident. This one really only peeks out her ugly head this time of year when the other little kiddies are just starting traditional school. She feels the excitement in the air, when kids are still so excited about their new school supplies and teachers and classrooms. She is not confident in her decisions, and wonders what she is keeping her sweet ones from experiencing. She is a little jealous of moms who have 8 hours a day to order other parts of their lives, and maybe clean a bathroom or two on occasion. She is a little loud at times, and can drown out first gal altogether if I don’t hold her back a bit.
This week that second gal is getting a lot of mental screen time. She has been awfully loud as we struggle through math and whine through reading. I just keep looking at them and think …”am I doing the right thing here?!”
It was in the midst of one of these mental struggles that I stumbled upon this verse: “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” Galatians 6:5
That verse found me at just the right time. I wasn’t really looking for it, or didn’t even consciously recognize I needed it. But, as is often the case for me, it was what I need when I needed it.
I am a blessed Hip Homeschool Mom because I do not feel judged by those around me. I have a great support system made up of homeschooling, as well as PTA moms. I do not struggle with questions from others who question my intentions, motivations or the rightness of my decisions. My struggles are in my own heart, and in my own spirit…which is why this verse was so powerful to me.
It is here, in this place of inward struggle that we are to test our actions. We are to line our motivations, our hopes, our desires and our plans for our children against just One measure. We are to test ourselves, and grade our own hearts based on these motivations.
As mothers we are good at this. We know. We know why we do what we do. We know where our hearts are, and it is with this little ones. Both opposing parts of me knows that I am doing the best thing for these two boys (and eventually three). When I mentally test my actions, I know where I need to stand. I know that we are where we need to be, and while my bathrooms will suffer for it, I can “take pride in” myself for the decisions I have made. I don’t need to “compare {myself} to somebody else” because this is my “load to carry.”
So moms, while you administer spelling, math and geography tests this school year, test also yourself. Test your heart, and take pride in the decisions you have made. You have made them for good of your child and with their best interest at heart. You are making more than lesson plans, you are making life plans for them.
You have chosen well homeschool moms, now go get ’em!
Courtney Steed is mom of three active little boys, ages 16 months, 4 and 6 years old. Being a grown-up homeschooled kid, she loves to encourage moms that it is worth the trouble, she promises. She is also a wife, married to a wonderful man who supports all her crazy ideas to be a motivational Christian writer and speaker for women. Her blog Living Peacefully Less Stressed hopes to accomplish just that. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.
Very inspirational!
Thank you El!
Thanks, I needed this:)
I just had a moment like this today from a post I stumbled upon ..I am so glad it was encouraging to you! 🙂
Great post! I have a 2 and 4 year old and have been going back and forth on between home schooling and public school. This really was a great post in the fact that I have a tendency to compare myself and my children to others standards. Such a great verse “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” Galatians 6:5.
I am going to have to chew on that one for a while. I personally believe that home schooling is the right answer I am just afraid that I will not be good enough or what they need. Thank you for a great post.
I struggle with the same things everyday Amanda ..I have this verse written in erasable marker on the tiles above my sink so I wont forgiet it! Either way, I know God will bless your decision …and remember, you arent expected to be the main teacher, He is! 🙂
I wrote something very similar when kids in my area started school a few weeks ago! I completely understand that doubt and questioning. It’s good to know someone else feels it too!
Here’s my blog entry along the same lines, if you’re interested:
http://sweetmilkandsunshine.blogspot.com/2011/08/its-night-before-public-school-starts.html#comments
I cant’ wait to check it out! Thanks Emily! Good to know I am not the only one! 🙂
I have that bipolar side too… the side that thinks of all the great things I could do with my time if my children went to public school. Then, I think about all the things they would learn at public school, and I don’t mean math, language arts and science. How to bully and be bullied. How to be disrespectful of adults. How to have the life and creativity drained out of you.
It’s a sobering reminder that God is leading us down the path that is truly best for my children.
I believe so ..I just have to trust God more than myself I think!
I loved this. I think every home school parent wants to make sure they are doing the right thing because we have to explain ourselves so much. It helps me to know that other moms have doubts and fears, I have often wondered if I was crazy for choosing to home school, three kids. I wish we could have a poll on why people choose to home school. Religion, distance of school, poor public school choices, social structure in ps school. ……… I would like to know, I have always been curios about it.
Here is my list of reasons …I felt like it helped me alot to write it down!
http://www.peacefullylessstressed.com/2011/04/whys-of-homeschooling.html
Wonderful post! Thank you!
Thank YOU Kristi! I appreciate your taking the time to say so 🙂
So true! Thanks for the encouragement! I have been feeling totally overwhelmed of late (In Australia, we are 3/4 through our school year)…. by all the things that don’t get done because i am busy sowing into my kids lives, minds & hearts (having said that i think contributing round the house is important, just not a balance i have achieved). That is a scripture i am going to meditate on (regularly!!!!)
p.s. i can’t seem to get to your blog – maybe just me!
Try this link and see if it works better for you! Thanks Clare ..and yes, balancing house and homeschooling is a biggie! I cant wait for someone to post something genius about that! 🙂
http://www.peacefullylessstressed.com
Not to say that I don’t have my moments of doubt, and those totally unwanted moments of, “Do you want to go to school?”. But I have to say that I find your statement about testing your heart to be so true. I know inside me what is right for my babies, better than any outsider. I just have to remember to trust that!
Its hard to remember on those trying days, Heidi but yes ..I believe so!
I was very encouraged by this post! (I reposted it on my facebook page to encourage my fellow homeschooling mamas.:) I too struggle with feelings of “is my son really missing something by me keeping him home??” and “wow, that would be GREAT to have 8 uninterrupted hours in a day to clean and shop and do all the other things a household requires!”
I’m a 24 year old mom of a 2 and 4 year old (both boys… and a girl on the way!) and just started some workbooks with my 4 year old. We are having great success. My mom homeschooled me from 3rd-12th grade and I loved it the whole time. I’m so glad my mom stuck with it and homeschooled me and my 3 siblings and didn’t give up. She was convinced of the benefits, and now I am too, and I’m already seeing the fruits of it in my 4 year old!
So thanks again for this encouraging article. And blessings on your school year!
Thank you Mallory..and yours as well, and on that new baby girl (man, she is one lucky little sis!).
WOW… so inspiring! I have battled this same “bi-polar” set of moms … and of course my homeschooling confidant side won out! 🙂 GREAT passage to remember! and GREAT idea to write it above the sink LOL 🙂 mental note: write this somewhere that I can see and my three year old doesnt LOL so there are not more notes around my house in washable marker LOL Thank YOU
lol! Good note Amy! And that is why above the sink works perfect for me!…the 16 month old cant reach it…YET! The four year old is quite trustworthy yet though..may need to rethink that one!