Feeding My Family Leftovers

Leftovers again. Yes, I serve leftovers pretty often. Actually, I only serve leftovers to my family—most often to my husband. I wouldn’t want to give leftovers to my church family now would I? And of course I would never serve leftovers to the other moms in my homeschool group. And what would my neighbors think if I served them leftovers? I would be so embarrassed!

What about you? Do you serve leftovers very often? Maybe you do, but I know you only do it because you have no other choice. You don’t intend to always give your family leftovers, but you serve the best to everyone else, so that’s all you have left right?

When I spend the whole day cleaning the house, doing my work-from-home job, calling to check on my neighbor who’s been sick, dropping off outgrown clothing to the clothes closet at church, and doing school with my children, I just don’t feel like giving my best to my family by the time my hubby gets home from work in the evenings. That’s just natural, isn’t it?

I think as homeschooling moms we feel like we have to keep up a front. We need for others to think we have it all together. We want our family members (at least the ones who don’t live with us) and friends to think our houses are always neat, our children are always well-dressed, and we are naturally beautiful and always happy. But what we often do is serve the best of ourselves and the best of what we have to everyone else. Then we give whatever is left over to those we are supposed to love the most.

So I’ve decided that even though I can’t be perfect, I am going to strive to get my priorities in order. I’m going to do my best to stop giving them my leftovers. Instead, I’ll put my children and my husband first. I’ll love them and treat them like the blessings God sent me instead of inconveniences like the world often says they are. No more leftovers.

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21 Comments

    1. It sure is! Of course it’s impossible (and wouldn’t even be good) to spend every moment doing things with and for our children. It is important not to put them last on the list, though, and I’ve found myself doing that lately. It’s so easy to slip into a pattern of feeling like everything else needs to be done before I spend time with my children, and of course there’s always work to be done! I’m glad to have encouraged you. 🙂

  1. I would TOTALLY serve leftovers to my church family or neighbors or to you.
    What a blessing to have food that is ALREADY cooked and ready in the spur of the moment?
    How blessed my company would be to be served by a not-stressed-out hostess who is ready to kick her feet up and laugh a while?
    Thanks for reminding me to evaluate WHERE my best efforts are being focused.
    Am I willing to serve leftovers or invite others into a not-as-clean house because I spent time doing eternal, meaningful things that morning rather than slaving over a moment that hasn’t even come?
    (I say this as my kids play video games and I am on the computer, taking a break from cleaning for company) :p

    1. Thanks for your comment! Yes, I definitely think it makes sense to evaluate where our best efforts are being focused! In fact, that’s really what I hope readers will get from this post. We should not feel bad about giving our best to our families.

    1. Thank you, Melinda! We aren’t perfect, and that’s ok. We are moms, teachers, cooks, nurses, and so many other things to our families. We should not waste time beating ourselves up! And we should feel perfectly good to give our best to our families. I hope you (and other readers) didn’t feel like I was beating myself up or suggesting that they do so. My point is that we should feel free to give less to other responsibilities and more to our own families–especially during these short years that our children are home with us. 🙂

    1. That’s great! It sounds like a wonderful system. You can make use of leftovers and not waste food while saving lots of time in the process. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

  2. As far as meals are concerned, leftovers are great and very helpful to our family. But, time-wise, I agree that priorities need to be in order. God first, then Family, then Others. Thanks for the reminder.

    1. You are welcome, Victoria! Thank you for leaving a comment. Yes, leftover food is definitely helpful and helps keep us from being wasteful. Giving out leftover time to our families, though, is not how it should be. As you mentioned, other than God, our families should be at the top of our list!

  3. Thank you. I have been going through this myself the past month or so. Do I spread myself so thin doing for others that I have nothing left to give those that would benefit the most, my family? I used the term cultivating when I wrote about it, but the essence is the same. Thank you for the further encouragement.

    1. You are welcome, Kim! I’m so glad to know that you were encouraged by my post. I really felt like that’s what God lead me to write about. I appreciate your comment!

  4. Sweet post. Here we seldom have leftovers, it’s also hard to keep Chinese food overnight. However, I admit that my husband gets leftover energy, which means by the time he gets home at night, I’m too pooped out to give him my best smile, looks or self. As you said, I need to set my priorities right and make a choice to give him my best despite how I feel by the end of the day. 🙂

    1. Thank you for your comment, Martha. It’s certainly not easy to give my hubby my best when he and I have both had a long and busy day. A couple of days ago I made especially certain to try to be cheerful and spend some time with him that evening even though I was really worn out. I could tell that it really meant a lot to him that, even though I was really tired, I simply sat with him and watched a movie and we chatted and just had a good time being there together. It was totally worth making the effort to spend some time with him! I know that you will be happy with your choice to give your best to your hubby too! It probably won’t be easy, but I think it will definitely be worth it!

  5. Wendy, so true! I know the feeling well, and I have struggled with it before. Right now, we’re doing chicken nuggets…a lot, b/c I’m so tired (with baby number 6 on the way), so I don’t mind it so much. But there are other times when I realize I’m giving more to those who should not be getting so much of my time and attention, and that’s when I need to snap myself back to the reality of my life. My husband and kids should be put first, and who care what impression my crazy life makes on others?

  6. Oh! This speaks to my heart. My poor husband. I love him so much, but he always gets the tail end of my energy. The question is HOW do I save energy for him? Where do I conserve during the day without creating crises that he will have to help me handle later? Does anyone else have ideas about HOW to do this? I already exercise, pray, read my scriptures, eat a balanced diet, and limit my outside commitments.

    1. Anaise, I’m making an effort to do several things to help myself and my family in this area. First of all, I’m trying to make sure I get in bed at a decent time so I don’t wake up already tired the next day. Another thing is that I’m having the kids do more for themselves–including cleaning up, making their own snacks, etc. I’m trying to get more organized with housework so that I space out big jobs over certain days and don’t suddenly find myself with a huge mess or lots of “undone” chores. I’m planning meals instead of stressing out at the last minute about what to cook. (This makes a huge difference in my life!!) And I’m making an effort to spend a few minutes each day resting or reading or doing some other quiet activity so I don’t feel so stressed and busy. If I can calm down and rest even for a few minutes each day, it makes me feel so much more cheerful and ‘together” when my hubby gets home. These aren’t easy things to change, but they have helped so much!

      1. Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about this and figuring out why I’m so worn out. I think I’ve found a few answers . . . and one of them is to invite my sweetheart out on a breakfast date instead of a dinner date! We’re hoping to go on our first one next week.

        1. That sounds like a wonderful idea! I’m more of a morning person than a night person for certain! I might have to try that for myself. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  7. While I agree with your point that it is awesome to give our best love and attention to our family in general, I can’t quite agree that serving leftovers to your family is any reflection of your love for them. Leftovers are practical, some foods taste better the next day, and I’m usually glad to get to eat something yummy twice!

    If you re read your post, there is an all or nothing, black and white framework. Love does not require you to be perfect. Homeschooling moms are a variety of personalities and we do not all feel the need to put on a front or “need for others to think we have it all together.” Most people do not think of children as “inconveniences”. Serving leftovers has nothing to do with how much you love your family.

    What I would take from your musings is that you are probably exhausted and overworked, and that by cutting back on extracurricular activities that you personally do for people outside of your family, you will have more energy for yourself and your family. Leftovers are totally fine, but you’ll actually have the energy to be more present while you’re eating them. It is hard for most people to be most genuine with their closest loved ones when they’re ready to pass out from exhaustion. THAT is what I would focus on.

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