“Enjoy your kids today and love them,” his departing words to me, as he goes off to work.
After eighteen years of marriage, he knows me well and he knows that sometimes I forget. Not that I forget to love them, for I love them something fierce. However, to enjoy them? That’s a different story. Sometimes, I do forget. He knows that often I get caught up in the garbage can that still isn’t emptied, the unworn clean clothes mixed in with the dirty ones, the bowl of perfectly expensive cereal sitting soggy and uneaten on the counter, and the unfinished math lesson on the desk. He knows my obsessive passion and drive can cause me to move my priority list around in unhealthy ways at times. He knows.
I love life and I love my people and sometimes I get so busy chasing life that I forget my people and well, that is sad. They need my passion for life displayed towards them, not my garbage can, not my laundry basket, and definitely not my cereal stash, or my lesson plans.
Today I heed his reminder.
Today I choose them.
Homeschool is hard. Really hard…and it. is. beautiful.
This reality shows itself in moments like today when I am sitting and watching my two sons play together, listening to Beethoven while the pumpkin spice candle is flickering, and my girls are soaking in pictures and details about the people in a way far away magical land adorned with many castles, called Germany. I vow to myself to embed this memory deep in my heart because one day this opportunity will be gone and I know while I will be living my new ones, my heart will surely ache for these days. It must.
These days where every single day at 1 pm and 7 pm when I go to lay down my sweet baby boy to sleep, I live magic. I sing, “God bless mommy and match box cars. God bless dad and thanks for the stars. God hears Amen wherever we are and I love you….” He wraps his chubby fingers tight around my neck and puts those curls on my shoulder and kicks his tiny toes. He lays and squeezes me and listens and giggles. I promise you it is near close to one of the sweetest moments I will experience in this lifetime. I get to live it…twice a day. Magic.
These days where she fills my heart with joy by just being her. She thanks me for pushing her, thanks me for teaching her, and I know at her age I didn’t posses half of the heart that she does. She is pure sunshine, crazy dance moves, and giggles. I pour into her middle school lessons of math, famous artists, Bible, character studies, tales rich in history and much, much more. She delights in learning and soaks it up like a sponge. I get to be a part of it all. I can’t imagine a better gift.
These days where every single day I watch him. Watch him becoming the young man that God created to him be. He gets to escape some of the peer pressure of middle school life and focus on his studies. While unknowingly to him, he is experiencing life and trying it on for size, to see what parts of him fit him in a way that works. He gets to do all this in the comfort of his own home and surrounded by people who adore the very air he breathes. He gets to stretch his very independent wings to fly and then fall with us right here to catch him, scoop him up, and let him try again. He will soar and I will cheer him on.
These days were my little firecracker keeps me on my toes and on my knees. Where she tells me through tears that she can’t write a journal entry because it sounds cheesy. These days where I wonder how at eight years old she knows what cheesy is. She experiences each and every thing with the intensity of a tornado. She is me, through and through. I so get her. She tells me, “thank you for teaching me my character traits because it really helps me know how to behave better.” She leaves me speechless. Full of gratitude at the closeness in our relationship and that I am the one that has taught her. What an unbelievable gift.
Homeschool has determined that our days are spent with a whole lot of together and just like my marriage vows, it is for better or for worse. Thankfully, there is plenty of both. For the worse makes me all that more certain that the better??? The better is just simply magic.