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When Being Mom Is Relentless

when motherhood is relentless It starts with the early morning patter of little feet on the floor. And it doesn’t end until the same pair/s of feet slip under the covers at night.  And even then, night time disturbances mean that days merge and blur into weeks, months, years.

Being Mom is relentless.

Relentless.

The word itself alludes to exhaustion without end.  It’s meals and laundry, dishes and dolls, booboos and potty training, tears and tantrums.  It’s refereeing and counseling, caring and carrying, being and listening.  It’s playing, hearing, seeing, admiring, buying.  It’s never finishing a cup of tea, a sentence, a thought.

And some days – many days – it can feel overwhelming.

It did for me, not too long ago.  I have amazing support systems – house help and grandparents down the road.  Close homeschooling friends who encourage and lend a hand.  A husband who engages with the kids and is far better in the kitchen than the rest of us.  But, even then, I felt overwhelmed.  Four little voices demanded, “Mama! Mom! Maaaaaa!” all day long.  It was “He said that!” and “She said the other thing!”  It was squeals and shouts, cries and pouts.  Even escaping to the Blessed Sanctuary of Peace – aka the bathroom – was short-lived.  The resentment in my heart bubbled up:

“Can I not just be alone for a little while?”

I limped through the rest of the day.  Each task was a burden.  Each childish question endured.  I did it because I had to.  But there was no joy.

The next morning I went for a long run.  A new episode of the Inspired To Action podcast in my ears.  Finally.  Me time.

But what I heard made me want to run straight back home and gather those four little beings in the tightest embrace.  All it took was just one tiny bit of advice that Andy Andrews, the guest on the show, offered moms.  A mind shift.  A perspective change.  He said…

It’s not that you have to do it.  It’s that you get to do it.

When it’s time to cut the grass, do we grumble that it’s time to get out there again?  Do we bemoan a wasted Saturday morning because we have to wash the car?  When we realise the privilege we have, suddenly there is joy in the job.  We have lawn.  We have a car.  98% of people in the world have neither.  They don’t get to wash their own car, because they don’t have one.  There are mothers all over this planet whose arms are empty.  They don’t get to hold their children, because their children have passed or were never born.

Those little voices; those hundreds of questions; those childish messes and spills…  They are relentless.  It’s tiring.  And, by all means, we should make room for mom-breaks from time to time.  But at the end of the day? It’s a blessing: a relentless, tiring blessing that we get to be a part of.

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4 Comments

  1. Righ now I’m in the “motherhood is DEFINITELY relentless” phase with an almost 4 and almost 2 year old who both are horrible sleepers! No bathroom breaks, no going in the bedroom on weekends by myself since one or both must locate me at all times and join me wherever I am….But motherhood is such a blessing! The smiles, the jokes, the excitement at exploring the world and learning new things!….Thanks for this reminder to tired, weary moms like me.

  2. Thanks so much for this…I have 11 children (10 at home yet), and you’re right. I’m tired. And, unfortunately, other than when my husband is home, I don’t have any help. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being a mom, but after not sleeping through the night for almost 15 years, it’s sometimes easy to feel overwhelmed. You have done a tremendous job of putting this into perspective for me. Thanks again.

  3. It’s good to know we are not alone in feeling the weariness! I’m so glad there has been encouragement in this for you as there was for me. Now to keep reminding myself! 🙂 I *get* to be a mom. What a gift. Tiring, relentless, blessed gift! May you have many more moments that remind you of this gift a little more readily than those wearying moments 🙂

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