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Dear Thinking-About-It Mom

So you think you might want to homeschool … or not … or you just have no idea…

I understand completely.

I’m just finishing up my second year of homeschooling, so I’m hardly an expert.  However, I do know a lot about starting to homeschool and all of the questions that go along with that. It can be a mind-boggling, faith-testing, relationship-straining time.  If we could sit out on the porch with a glass of sweet tea, here’s what I would want to share with you:

HHMThinkingAboutHomeschoolingPost

Learning some geography during our second year – proving that we did survive that first year!

 

  • You don’t have to be super-organized.  Somehow there seems to be a myth that all homeschoolers have this innate ability to maintain perfect homes, create elaborate lesson plans, keep meticulous records, cook delicious and nutritious meals (three times a day), and meet all the wife descriptions of Proverbs 31 and Song of Solomon.  We bloggers can be the most guilty of perpetuating such a myth. Yes, you should do your work as unto the Lord, and yes, some sort of planning and/or record-keeping method is very helpful (here’s mine – very basic), but please let go of this feeling of inadequacy.
  • Don’t worry about choosing the wrong curriculum.  I can promise you this: something you choose for your child will not be a good fit.  The beauty of homeschooling is that you don’t have to stick with it!  Give it a good, honest shot first, but if it’s just not working, move on.  Especially at the beginning, I would recommend trying to see different ones in person before purchasing.  Ask other homeschool Moms if you can take a peek at what they are using, get honest answers about how much time is involved, and then be honest with yourself about how much time and money you have and are willing to spend.
  • Homeschoolers come in all shapes and sizes.  We’re not all Duggars.  I have such admiration for the Duggars and other families like them, but I knew that wasn’t me.  I like to wear capri pants, I have short hair, and my husband and I do not feel called to have a busload of children.  Honestly, I was afraid I just wouldn’t fit in with other homeschoolers.  I was pleasantly surprised to find such a wide range of homeschool Moms!  I know Moms who wear denim jumpers and others who wear skinny jeans.  You don’t have to stop being “you” to homeschool.
  • You may be surprised by who supports your decision – and who doesn’t.  You will quickly discover that you are making what others consider to be a radical choice.  This can be especially daunting when you are already feeling unsure about your decision.  My mother and my mother-in-law are both retired public school teachers.  One thinks homeschooling is great; the other is … doubtful.  Both opinions are based on their own experiences and understanding, and both are well-intentioned.  Don’t be surprised if this produces some unforeseen conflicts, and approach them prayerfully.
  • You probably won’t love every minute of it – and that’s OK.  Another myth about homeschool Moms is that we all just love being with our kids all.day.long.  While there may be a few who genuinely feel that way, most of us need a break from time to time.  I am a classic introvert and being around people all the time (even people whom I love dearly) wears me out.  I have to carve out alone time during the day, even if it’s just a few minutes here and there.  Find what works for you.  Also, be prepared that transitioning to having them home all the time if it hasn’t been that way previously will require a time of adjustment on everyone’s part.  Don’t panic if you’re not all one big, happy family by the end of the first week!  Pray, proceed with caution, and give it time.
  • Just try it!  It won’t be the end of the world if it doesn’t work out, and you will not have ruined your child’s education.  I promise.  I do strongly suggest committing to one full year so you won’t quit at the first bump in the road because there will be bumps.  Just remember that you have the option to tweak things along the way.  Pray, and try different schedules.  Pray, and try different activities.  Pray, and try again.

Other homeschool Moms who also know the trepidation of just starting out, what other advice would you add?

 

Laura Baggett is a college math professor learning to teach first grade and preschool at home with her two favorite students. She and her husband, David, have moved 13 times in not quite 15 years of marriage. When she’s not homeschooling, teaching math online, or feeding her addiction to Facebook, she writes about her adventures at Bloom Where You’re Planted.

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24 Comments

  1. Thanks for a wonderful post. I will start homeschooling my daughter in the fall for kindergarten. It has been hard for me, as I have had some well-meant, but negative comments by some friends and family when they learned of our intent to homeschool. My husband is the one who was gung-ho about homeschooling originally, and I was much slower to come around to his way of thinking. It didn’t help to have so many Negative Nancies giving me their opinion while I was trying to form my own. Now that I’ve done my research, I agree with my husband that this IS the way I want to educate our children. On bad days, it is going to be a struggle for me to keep positive and not begin to doubt our decision and replay the words of those who were doubtful of our choice. Thanks for sharing that you deal with this, too, and your suggestion to remain prayerful about it is a good one.

    1. Yes, it can be difficult to hear the comments and questions, especially when they are coming from someone you love and respect. It has gotten easier as I have gained confidence our decision to homeschool, and I believe it will for you, too. If you haven’t already, I would suggest finding a local homeschooling support group or co-op. It can be very helpful to hear similar stories from other people and to know that you are not alone on this journey.

  2. I would say, that “socialization” is NOT the most important thing to factor. It is something we, as homeschooling parents have to be intentional about. I LOVE the the Y offers homeschool co-op twice a week for 2 hours each session. it’s lovely.

  3. Great post! It’s so hard not to stress out about not being perfectly organized or have the expensive curriculum, we don’t use a curriculum at all yet! There’s as many types of homeschooling parents as their are parents at a public school. Do what works best for your family

  4. Your post came at just the right time! My husband and I have decided to homeschool my youngest son next fall after months of praying, researching, and talking to other h.s. families. I appreciate your honesty and encouragement as I begin new territory!

    1. Lauren, it sounds like you are on the right track with prayer, research, and finding fellow homeschool families. Just take it one day at a time. I’m sure you’ll do a great job!

  5. I am very new to homeschooling, as in I took my son out of kindergarten just a few months ago to finish schooling at home. It has been a rollercoaster. I am still on the fence about my capability to effectively and successfully school my son, and is he getting all the interactions and experiences he needs.

    1. Becky, your “rollercoaster” description is very accurate, I think, for so many of us. There are still days when I think we must be crazy to have chosen this path! I hope that you have some fellow homeschool Mom friends that you can talk to / commiserate with. It’s so helpful to know that you’re not alone!

  6. Thanks for sharing!

    I have just begun homeschooling my 5 year old and am more excited than nervous about this adventure.

    The decision to homeschool shocked me, a few years ago this was not even on my radar. In the process of doing my research and literally making a list supporting my decision to present to my husband I found out that he was GUNG HO about it but felt like he could not ask me to do this, I had to be willing and able without his influence. I love the way God uses us, surprises us and shows himself to us and feel honored that he has put me on this path, whether it is for a year or 20.

    Thanks HHM’s for providing support, encouragement and humor!

  7. Great, great, advice!! Oh, and since I see your daughter is wearing an Auburn TShirt, I just have to throw a “Roll Tide” in here, too!

  8. I would say this…Leave the house! Homeschoolers ALWAYS want to stay in and work the first year, and they forget to find time to play. That leads to burn-out. My son threatened to leave me and go back to public school after the first year in, so I’ve changed my ways! I’m now homeschooling a nearly 16-yr-old, and loving every minute of it. I’ve learned to chill out on the books-are-the-only-way-to-learn attitude, and opt for quite a bit of experiential learning (though we we use a melange of curricula and books!). It all works together, and I have a happier kid for it!

  9. Great info!!! I feel a little better. LOL I am trying the Life Pac series. It is a book form. But now that we have been working in this I am now thinking that the computer version will be much much better for my son. It will keep his attention more. I am definitely going to implement your simple record keeping. I am currently using a, actual 8×11 book type calendar that you can get at the bank or your insurance company for free. I put in for each day what he did and how much time it took for him. At the end of the week when we do his testing I put his grades he had on the Saturday area seeing how we have no school work on Saturday. One thing I need to emphasize and that is when you are looking for a curriculum make sure it is accredited. I just found out that Life pac is indeed accredited but only up until 8th grade then I have to switch to something like maybe the BECCA program for BECCA is accredited through 12th.

    1. Great advice about the accreditation! I’m sure that won’t necessarily be a concern to everyone, but it’s certainly something important to consider, especially at the high school level.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Natalie!

  10. We are considering homeschooling our 7-year old, and I am plagued by “What if” questions — what if he wants to play the saxophone and I can’t teach him? What if he misses out on art, music, drama, chess club, etc.?

    It’s scary to say “no” to what the public school has to offer, even if saying “yes” to homeschooling has its own benefits.

    Any help . . . ?

    1. Hi Robert,

      I completely understand your concerns. I LOVED being in the high school show choir, the math team, etc. I definitely don’t think that public (or private) schools are *all* bad. There are certainly good experiences to be had there.

      In most of the situations that you mentioned (saxophone, art, music, etc.), there are likely alternatives available to you. For the music- and art-related things, perhaps try to get in touch with your local band director or public school music teacher. He or she may know someone (even advanced students) who offer private lessons. For the other activities, are you involved with a local homeschool support group? Other homeschool Moms and Dads can be the very best resources for this kind of information. Perhaps one of the other parents might be interested in forming a chess club with other students your son’s age. In larger cities, there may even be orchestras or drama troupes composed of homeschool students.

      Whatever the choice (homeschool, private school, public school), there are always trade-offs. Many parents choose to homeschool to avoid many of the negative aspects of public school, but along with that comes avoiding some of the positive aspects, as well. Most of these positives can be re-created in other ways, but not all of them. On the flip side, there are positives about homeschooling that can not be re-created in the public school.

      Ultimately, the decision is between you and the Lord. If He is leading you to homeschool, then He will be faithful to fill in any “gaps” that need to be filled.

  11. Hi Laura,

    Thank you for this post, it was a great read. I was wondering if you could touch base with homeschooling and states that some of these moms live in, including yourself. It would be quite educational. I’m new to being a mom and my hubby and I agreed that for our daughter’s education, we definitely want to homeschool. The only Problem we are having is where to go. I read that you and your family have moved around a lot. With that in mind, have you and your husband had problems with state laws and regulations? Luckily our daughter is 8 months old, so we have time to figure out what state to move to. But any input would be highly appreciated. We were looking for no or low regulated states. We were hoping to stay on the east coast, but it seems they’re more strict wIth regulations. His family is in V.A. and mine is in N.Y.. .. So we were hoping not to move too far, but will do whatever is necessary for our family. Sorry for the long post. Thank you for your time & consideration!

    Best regards,

    Katie

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