10 Tips for Talking to Your Husband About Homeschooling
So many moms who want to homeschool simply don’t know where to start. If you’re in that situation, this series of posts is for you! And if you need to talk with your husband about the possibility of homeschooling, this post is for you!
For some moms, the thought of talking to their husbands about the possibility of homeschooling is frightening. Maybe it’s not that your husband doesn’t want you to homeschool. Maybe it’s just that you’re not sure if he’ll support your desire or not. Maybe it’s that you’re afraid (or even certain) that he won’t agree to homeschooling. If this is you, then I hope this post will encourage you! With a bit of advance preparation, you can have a positive conversation with your husband about homeschooling.
1. First, keep in mind that men love to get to the meat of the discussion.
That means you will need to prepare ahead of time to talk with him. If you tend to ramble when you get nervous (like I do!), then you may want to actually make yourself some notes to go by. That way you won’t stray off track and frustrate him. And you’ll feel more confident if you know ahead of time what you’re going to say.
2. Read articles.
Read articles (or blog posts) about homeschooling. You know your husband better than anyone else. As you read homeschool-related articles and posts, think about what information would mean the most to your husband. Is he (or might he be) concerned about whether or not your children will be “properly socialized”? Is he (or might he be) worried that they won’t learn everything they need to know? And if you’re just not sure, try making notes on some issues that you find interesting and important. You may not even need to share the information with him, but you’ll have it if you need it, and you’ll feel better prepared and more confident when you get ready to talk to him. (At the end of this article, I’ll list some posts and articles you might find helpful.)
3. Gather statistics.
Many men love to see statistics. Giving your husband statistical information about homeschooling is a great way to get right to the point. If you know that your hubby is one who likes a short conversation and concrete information, this is a great way to handle it! (Again, I’ll give suggestions for sources at the end of this post.)
4. Be positive but not pushy.
Yes, you want to let your husband know that homeschooling is a great option. You want him to know that homeschooling will provide your children with a great education. It will give them opportunities to interact not only with peers but also those who are older and younger than them as well as adults. It will give you the chance to forge a strong relationship with them and to truly know them. There are so many great reasons to homeschool, and you will want to share them with your husband. But please keep in mind that you don’t want to try to “force” these reasons on your husband. In fact, this point leads me to the next point, so keep reading!
5. Give him time to think about it (without pressure!).
Remember that while you’ve probably been considering homeschooling for quite a while, this may be a brand new idea to your husband. It may take him some time to consider homeschooling and whether or not he thinks it’s a good idea. Once you’ve given him the facts and expressed your reasons for wanting to homeschool, give him some time to think about it without asking his opinion or pressing him for a decision.
6. Let him know that his approval and support are important to you.
Your husband needs to know that you’re on his team! He needs to know that you love him and value his opinion. As a homeschooling mom of 17 years, I can assure you that you will need his support if you homeschool, and letting him know that you value him and want his approval and support is very important.
7. Attend a homeschool convention.
This will help you prepare to homeschool, and it may help him feel better if he knows that you’re willing to learn more about homeschooling so you can do your best teaching your children. And if nothing else, it’ll be a lot of fun! Homeschool conventions can be a bit overwhelming the first time you attend, though, so you might want to go to a small local convention to begin with.
8. Ask him to attend a homeschool convention with you (if he’s willing).
Again, don’t nag your husband to do this, but if he’s willing, it might really help him to see so many other dads there supporting their wives in homeschooling. In fact, more and more dads attend conventions and more and more dads are involved in homeschooling now days. He might be glad to see that he’s in good company!
9. Get together with another homeschooling family.
If it’s not possible to attend a homeschool convention (or even if it is), it’s a great idea to get together with a local homeschooling family. If you don’t know one (or know how to find one), take a look at the links below this post for some helpful links you can use.
10. Pray about your conversation with your husband ahead of time.
The most important thing you can do to prepare to talk with your husband is pray! Pray ahead of time that God will help you know what you need to say to your husband. Pray that He will help you to stay calm and positive. Pray that He will prepare your heart (and your husband’s) for the conversation. And pray that God will lead both of you to make the right decision for your family whether or not you end up homeschooling.
Articles about homeschoolers and socialization:
- Socialization: Homeschoolers Are in the Real World
- Homeschooling: Socialization Not a Problem
- Socialization: Tackling Homeschooling’s “S” Word
- Homeschooling: Why Socialization Matters
Articles about homeschooling and academic achievement:
- Nationwide Study Confirms Homeschool Academic Achievement
- Homeschooling: Outstanding Results on National Tests
Statistics:
- Academic Statistics on Homeschooling
- Homeschooling Grows Up: Research Study on Adults that Were Homeschooled
Links to help you find a local homeschool support group:
What other questions do you and your husband have about homeschooling? Do you have other questions about talking to your husband about homeschooling? We’d love to address them in a future post!
Photo Credit: Stock Images http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/
As a homeschool husband, I really like your second point. Being prepared for the conversation is good. But don’t just read articles, also read your husband. Listen to his thoughts and objections. Don’t counter them right away with pre-prepared arguments gleaned from articles, but invite him into the search for information. This means, as you correctly state in point #5, that you should plan for a series of conversations. It takes us all time to adjust to the idea of homeschooling when it first comes up. If you broach the idea with your husband, then together search for information and discern whether this is the best path for your family, he won’t feel out of sync with the process. In areas where my wife pulls far ahead of me, I tend to disengage, because it seems like it might take a lot of effort and time to catch up. A more engaged Dad is definitely better for homeschooling in the long run. Even if we Dads aren’t executing the homeschooling plan on a day-to-day basis, we still have a responsibility before God to set direction for our families. Help us to be good leaders by inviting us into the decision-making process earlier rather than later.
P.S. – I found Hip Homeschool Moms, and shared it as a resource with my wife (who is the main day-to-day teacher in our little school).
Thank you so much for your comment! It’s great to hear from a dad on this topic. I think it’s a wonderful thing for a dad to be interested in helping his wife research and learn more about homeschooling! And of course you’re right that a dad who is part of the decision-making process will feel more like he’s “on the same page” with his wife, and that’s so important! Also, thank you for sharing our site with your wife. 🙂 We hope it is a blessing to her and to you and your children.
Hi Wendy,
My kids are now in a blended program (1/2 home 1/2 class). This was our first step into transitioning into this lifestyle. My question for you is how do you balance taking care of your home, homeschooling and working from home. I am currently a work from home mom and am finding it hard to find time for my work or for me as a person. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much. Tina
Tina, to be honest, it’s not always easy. One thing that helps a lot is that my husband is very supportive. He is great about keeping the kiddos now and then on a Friday evening or Saturday so I can go to the local coffee shop to get some work done or so I can go to the bookstore and read just for fun or whatever else I want to do to take a break and have some “down time.” I am so very blessed to have such a wonderful hubby!! Also, I try to keep to a sort of routine. I’m not at my best first thing in the morning or late at night, but I try to get up in the mornings before my kiddos get up and get some work done. Then around 9 a.m. I get the kids up and we do school. My kids are older, so that helps too. The only one who really still needs much help is my 11-year-old, and even she does much of her work on her own. I go over some things with her and then pretty much supervise the rest. After lunch, we do some housekeeping jobs. Then I try to get a bit more work done before time to begin cooking dinner. Sometimes I get a lot done and sometimes not much. On the afternoons that I don’t get much done, I end up having to work some during the evening. My husband knows that I try not to have to do too much work in the evenings when he’s home, but he also understands that sometimes I have no choice. And it’s easier for us because we don’t have little ones that we have to bathe and all that. I don’t know how old your children are, but I can tell you that I couldn’t have done everything I do when my kids were younger. When I began seriously working from home, my kids were about ages 14, 12, and 7. I hope this helps a little bit! 🙂
Thanks – my kids are 7 & 9 right now and we are in the process of adopting a 6 or 7 year old. So I will have 3 at home. I’m greatful to have a hubby that helps me out greatly also so I have that going for me. So it might be a challenge for a bit. But looks like I’ll have it down maybe in a few years as they get older. : ) My kids are starting to help me around the house too so that has been a great help. Thanks again for your reply and wisdom. Blessings to you and your family. Tina
You are very welcome, Tina! I hope it goes well for you! And yes, things will definitely get easier as your children get older. Blessings to you and your family too!
Thank you for this post. We are considering homeschooling our children from grade 1 and I appreciate the links you’ve included, particularly the ones related to socialisation as that is one of my husband’s concerns.
Melanie, I’m so glad the article was helpful to you! Thank you for your comment! It’s so nice to hear from those folks who have been encouraged and helped by what we do here on the Hip Homeschool Moms site. 🙂